I’ll tell you right now the best way to decide if a name you’re considering is really the perfect name for your baby.
Walk around the house saying the name out loud 28 times in a row. You can yell it a few times, for reality’s sake. Maybe throw in a couple of phrases you might actually use once the littl’un gets here, like, “Come here, Sputnik. No, no, Sputnik. Spuuuuuut-nik, look at Mommy. Sputnik, stoppit!”
I guarantee that if the name hasn’t made you nauseous after that drill, it can stay on the approved list.
I know this method works because almost every week I see (or rather hear) plenty of parents who should have used it before they had their kids. Yesterday I was in the Brentwood Library’s children’s section when I realized that I could never name a child “Montgomery” because the Montgomery I had the misfortune to encounter was not at all interested in using library-rated behavior. Montgomery was doing everything his mom did not want him to do, and she used his whole name every time she tried to check him.
“Montgomery, sweetie, please get off the table. Montgomery, settle down. No, Montgomery, we share the trains on the train table. No, no, we don’t bite, Montgomery.”
I thought at least the lady would have defaulted to a nickname after a while, but no, she was not going to call the child Monty or Mo or even Gummy. It was the full Montgomery or nothing at all.
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