Saturday, August 9, 2008

Can't Teach an Old Mom New Tricks

Last week was orientation at the preschool my 5-year-old will attend this year, the same school my 12-year-old twins began attending when they were 1-year-olds.
Since the stairstep method of family planning prevails in our society, most of the new moms there don’t have a seven-year gap between kids like I do.
I walk in the building where lots of these new moms are gathered, and it looks like sorority rush. Girls ten or twelve years younger than me greet each other with squeals, dressed like bright summer flowers holding monogrammed purses.
Their faces turn earnest as the teachers outline the things their babies will do during the preschool day. With apprehension, they glance at their boyish husbands when the teacher mentions the little ones feeding themselves at lunchtime.
We old moms try to contain our impatience with their rookie questions, remembering the guy in high school who always asked, “If we study this, will we pass the test?”
I can’t judge too harshly, though. My first time around, I was the biggest wad of maternal anxiety ever, leaving my twin babies to fend for themselves in the rough world of church preschool.
Now that I am a mom over 35, I’ll never forget three special words the doctor said to me at my first OB visit – advanced maternal age. I felt like I’d be raising my own grandchild.
By the time you move from preschool to elementary school, not much has changed. When I was a new mom, I used to think older moms were so cranky and unenthusiastic. Now that I’m 40 years old with a little 'un, I realize they weren’t cranky. They’d just done it all before.
So now I’m one of them. I want to be involved in my kids’ school. I’m not going to clap and sing about it, but I’ll be there.
No, nothing can match a new mom’s enthusiasm for helping out in class, and school wouldn’t be as fun without them. We old moms, however, have been down this path, and we usually have to leave to pick up another kid soon. We just want the new moms to tell us what to bring and when.
My friend Trish says she often finds herself saying, “Sounds great. I’ll do whatever.” I think that’s going to be my new motto at school.
Class Halloween party? Sounds great. No, you can do the craft. I promise I don’t mind. Lollipop spiders? Yes, that will be very cute. The kids will love it. I’ll do whatever.
In fact, it would be nice to hear that from the kids every once in a while. “Sounds great, Mom. I’ll do whatever.”

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